A girl wrote this news article about how we are all young, how we have so much time to make our dreams come true. That we see our friends and some of them have found all this success and they may not even be 21 yet, but she kept saying that there is so much time to make these things happen for ourselves. I thought it was so reassuring. I felt some of my anxiety just fall away because her words made me feel safe. They made me feel like I don't have to rush to be like my friends who make thousands of dollars a day, that I still have time to be like them. Like I haven't failed yet. But the sad part is that she died just a few days after she wrote this article. I mean I've always believed your time comes when you realize something incredibly significant about life. I think you die once you've gotten to where you are suppose. I mean I know there are people who have died right in their prime. Sadly many of my friends are those people. They all died in horrific accidents but these people had left such an impact on lives while they were alive. I don't think they died in vain. I think they could have been so much more but they all were so wise about life even though they weren't even older than 21. And I like to hope thats what happened to the girl who wrote this article. She said she wanted to find the opposite of loneliness in life and she had found that in Yale, and she was going to try and find it through out her life. I think all my friends who have died found the opposite of loneliness. They were all such amazing and full of life. People were happier just being around them. I just can't believe for a second that they hadn't achieved something yet. I think they achieved something that a lot of us have yet to find or even realize thats what we are suppose to be achieving. I want to be smart. I want get my degree and use it and I want my family and friends to be proud of me, and I want all those people who judged me in high school to feel stupid for doubting me, for smirking, for making up lies, for torturing me to know that no matter what they did to me they didn't stop me. Their darkness couldn't stop me from shining like the brightest star. I've never been normal. I've always done weird things since I was a child and I'm not ever going to stop being different. I don't strive to be normal because thats overrated. I strive to make my dreams come true no matter how far fetched and ridiculous they may be. I'll never give up and even though I want that opposite of loneliness I wont search for it in a single person. We don't need one person to be complete, we needs hundreds! They more the merrier right? I have such a great support system and I may not have companionship with some guy who says he 'loves' me everyday (which is totally fine if you do) but I have so much more than that. I have friends who tell me they love me before they hang up the phone. Friends who save a spot for me in their car for their road trip before I even get a chance to ask them their plans for Memorial Day Weekend. I have friends who I fight with and within 3 hours we are laughing and totally forgot we were fighting about something. I have friends who I will grow old with who I will see the world with and I don't really need anything more than that. But I want to make those friends proud and I want to support them the same way they support me. I want to buy them all their dream houses and help them make their dreams come true.
I believe we are nothing without our friends and our family, and even our enemies. They all push us to be our best, to be THE best. Even though people have hurt us in our lives all we can do is forgive them and make sure we don't let them close enough to hurt us again. And when we surround ourselves with the people we love and who love us all that pain seems so insignificant, so silly. I like to see the good in people and believe no one intentionally is malicious. Maybe they lost their way, or were never taught how to treat people and I feel sorry for those people because they may never experience the love that surrounds them.
