We're Cowboys

At my job I have the luxury of sitting in front of CNN for 9 hours all day. Its really a dream come true...-_- but while I sit here "working" and watching the news I get to see all the things happening around the world. Thankfully Miley Cyrus performed a risque show during the VMA's and that is all that has been on the news.But last week the news covering a lot of whats going on in Syria. So every half hour I watched the same clip of children choking on gas. Families laying dead in their house with seemingly now damage or blood. As I wait to be one of the first to hear President Obama's decision on whether we are going to bomb Syria for crossing his "red line" I wonder if before every war this is what its like. Are we all just constantly waiting to hear what someone else's decision is. We wait idly by while a group of people decide our future? It's a strange feeling. I have to just sit here and watch the clips reply watch the news reporters say the same thing. U.S. is ready to attack if the order is given. So we all are waiting. Even Syria is waiting. They say they will retaliate if attacked. Britain's Prime Minister seems ready to go to war. He said we CAN'T sit idly by while innocent people are killed.
In 2011 I was too young to remember the process. I remember my teachers showing us a clip of an airplane crashing into a building. Then suddenly we were declaring war and we've been there ever since. I feel like this is what people did in the 50's and 60's they sat in front of their TV's waiting for an answer. Today I think people are probably less engaged, the government is constantly doing things the people disagree with. The only thing I can think about is the poor soldiers. The ones that were just pulled out of the war and now they have to get ready to go back.
Its sad that those people are dying, and its very chivalrous of us to want to help and not want to watch whats going on over there. Except at what point do we say enough is enough. We cannot prove the Syrian Regime released the chemical weapons so should we really go to war? I guess that's selfish. I think we have are hands in too many cookie jars and need to hold off, but that is just my opinion.

Racism

I've never understood it, and I still don't. Sometimes I read about it in books, hear about in the news and sometimes I'm a victim of it, but every time those things happen I'm in disbelief. It's so surprising that its 2013 and there are still racist people. My dad is more or less racist. He tells the occasional racist joke, but after falling in love with a Mexican woman and being the father to 3 Mexican children he has learned a lot about it and usually doesn't make racist comments. But I sincerely DO NOT understand it. Why am I any different from you. Just because my skin is darker? Sometimes you can't even look at a person and tell they are anything but white, but the second you find out their race they are suddenly a different person. I don't understand. How can hate and fear be put into a person. How can other people look at me and other races and be disgusted, just because of my ethnicity? I think that is the hardest thing, I just don't understand why they hate me, why they hate people who are Mexican or black or Asian. I know I've never gotten the worst of it. Some people face racial discrimination and hate much more than I do, but my own family is racist and I never really thought that they hated or judged me or thought less of me but the fact is that they do. My father is white and his parents are racist and they taught their children to be racist too. Luckily my father can see past that and married my mom and had my brothers and me. I knew that my grandma pretended, I guess, to tolerate my mom, but there was hate in her heart as much as any of my white family wants to deny it. I never knew any of this, mainly because my grandma died when I was 1 and I never really met her. As I got older I noticed my fathers racial jokes and I hated them, but I didn't think much of it. Then my mom let slip that my grandma hated her because she was Mexican and not white. (even though my mom is SUPER white washed) other than those things I never knew my whole white half was racist. Not until yesterday. A comment was made by an aunt about their child dating someone who is not 100% white. My dad got furious with her and told her you realize you are also talking about my wife and kids. My aunt feverishly apologized saying she loves my mom and us kids but my dad hung up. I think he thought after his mom died he wouldn't have to deal with that racism against his wife but my grandparents taught their kids that same racism. First that shocked me. I had no idea that it went to that level in my family. Then it saddened me and angered me, but as I was on the phone with my mom I told her if anything happens this weekend to tell this family member, that her parents might have failed by raising racist children but at least she didn't fail because her kids see passed someones ethnicity and can love them without even caring about that.

I know I shouldn't hate my family for their ignorance and I don't hate them, I love them all very much despite how they feel about my race, but it hurts me to know that they treat other people that way. That they think its okay to even say those things. I'm just glad that my mom raised me to not even think about the color of someones skin. She always used to say that my dad would flip if he found out I was dating someone who was black. (which I did do a couple years ago) I never thought she was serious serious though. Like yea he was going to be mad but if I liked him then what could he do. But I realize that there was a lot more behind her saying that. I'm glad I don't feel the ignorant hatred that racist people feel. I only feel love for every human being. Black, white, yellow, brown, straight, gay or something else we are all still human beings and those things don't make us any more or any less than another person.

I don't understand racism, and I don't know if I ever will. I think that people feed into stereotypes and they let those be the reasons to defend their racism but anything you say about a black, Mexican or Asian (or any other race) I guarantee you there are white people who do the same things. Stereotypes are not a reason to hate a race. end of story. There is no reason to hate any fellow human being unless they do bad things, like rape women or steal little kids. Those are reasons to be disgusted with someone but not because of what they look like, who they love, or what ethnicity their parents are./

If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

So we went to SF...after much deliberation and because Josh always gets his way I drove, despite my valid argument of not wanting to put more miles on my car. He refused to take bus or train, event though those would be cheaper because I somehow ended up spending well over $160 on gas -_-
Anyways we got there at about midnight and Bryce informed us we would be getting drunk and going bowling. WE had 39 minutes to finish all the beer, luckily I don't drink beer so I just watched. At about 1:24 the boys opened their costume closet and proceeded to dress up. At this point I have no idea whats going on anymore and I was sober! After wigs hats masks and mardi gras beads were applied to everyone going (including me) we walked to the bowling ally where Bryce and his room mates are hated.We bowled got more beer from 7-11 and walked back home at 2:30. We proceeded to drink and catch up with Bryce since we hadn't seen him in a month then I fell asleep round 4:30 and at 7 Josh came and slept on the couch with me. We were suppose to start our epic adventure in SF at 9 am but when the alarm went off I made a pathetic attempt to wake up Josh and then fell back asleep. At 11 we woke up and I told Josh to go get Bryce but before he even got up Bryce came strolling down the stairs. "You fuckers I thought you left without me. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was Josh saying 9 am I'll be back in 2 hours"
I defended myself claiming "Well I woke him up but he wouldn't get up, and I was too tired to make him get up." and Josh no remembering argued "My alarm didn't go off"
After more arguing about whose fault it was Josh and I went to 7-11 to buy him a toothbrush. On the way back he thought it would be a good idea to skate down the hill. Wrong

This is him after the incident in China Town

After much deliberation and despite my best efforts to get us to just stay at Bryce's we left for Walgreens to buy crutches...for 50 DOLLARS da fuck and champagne. We drank champagne then drove to Twin Peaks 

The drove to Haight Street where we ate at The Grind. OMG the food was bomb

I got the Upper Haight Godfather or something like that and Josh and Bryce shared a french dip, aren't they cute?! Not...

After that we picked up Derrick and walked to the trolley where Josh was struggling at this point but I got to ride and hang off the side...EPIC

\

I was now satisfied even though we only did half the things because we woke up too late. Josh was in a lot of pain I suggested we go home but no, no one listens to me so we went to Dolores Park which was cool and Josh got to relax. At this point Bryce realized that one of Josh's cuts looked like a heart. Which surprisingly it does 

Then we went home ate, watched the Dark Knight Rises I fell asleep after it ended, Josh woke up after it ended and then we woke up in the morning drove to see his mom where she made us awesome crack cookies and a lovely dinner. On our way home it took 3 hours just to get to the grapevine from Fresno where there also happened to be many accidents and a huge fire. And that was my weekend in San Fran :] can't wait to visit again, where else should I visit next time??

Lets Make Things

Soooooooo I finally made a "bathroom organizer," with the help of my daddy of course! It turned out great! Usually my projects are kinda shitty because I get too excited and end up doing a sloppy job and not think things through, but my dad, being much wiser than I, had some great ideas I'm sure it would look like a five year old did it if I didn't have his help.


First we went to home depot and I looked through a lot of pinterest here are a view links you can check out too

Organize Your Bathroom

Weekend DIY: Bathroom Organizer

DIY Bathroom Organizer

Mason Jar Sunday

Mason Jar Bathroom Storage


So now check out those blogs I combined my favorite/easiest ways and I'll provide some helpful hints

What you need:

Mason Jars .99 each at the 99 cent store
(or anything else you want to use I have an alcohol themed bathroom Patron corks as my knobs and a Jack Daniels bottle as my soap dispenser etc. so I'm going to take Grey Goose bottles and cut off the tops to make cups. You can google how to cut glass bottles)
Wood $1.28 Home Depot
Hose Clamp $1.20 each Home Depot
Screws
Paint
Saw
Screw driver
Eye hooks
Felt circles .99 from the 99 cent store


First my dad cut the wood, we bought a piece of a picket fence because it was super cute, but you can use wood you already have or get molding like some of the other sites used. Unfortunately to keep the cute cut out ends we would have had to cut the middle then nail it back together. That was just too much work on the 4th of July in 110 degree weather, so we cut the ends off.

So now that the ends are off I was going to paint it but my dear ol' dad grabbed some old spray paint he had and painted it for me! (he put a nail in the back and tied a string on the wood so it would hang. I didn't see the point in painting both sides.)

While we let it dry we decided where we wanted the Mason Jars on the wood and where we wanted the hose clamps on the Mason Jar. At first I wanted the Jars centered and the clamps centered on the jar. But my dad said it would look better if the top of the jar was lined up with the top of the wood. Then we put the hose clamps a little higher on the jar so it was center on the wood. Confusing I know but you can see in the final picture how it looks.

After we decided that, we had to figure out where to drill the hole in the clamps. First I aligned the hose clamps exactly the same on each jar. Make sure the screw part of the clamp is in the same place as each jar so your finished project looks more uniform (once again this was my dads idea, he is so clever) once I did that I looked for the center of the back of the jar and marked where the screw should go. 

Then we completely opened the clamps. When lined the jars on the wood and marked the spot it should go and where to drill the hole in the wood. After that we got the drill, lined up our holes and put in the screws.

My next tip is to not use brass screws. My dad was trying to be fancy and wanted it to look nice so he got the brass screws but those ended up getting stripped. We got most of the screws in all the way, but they were still sticking out a bit. We had bought this little adhesive felt pads like the kind you put under your furniture so they slide easier, to put on the back on the wood in case the wood lay on the wall, so we put those of the face of the screws? I don't know what you would call it maybe head? That what you call it on a nail right? Anyways the part that you put the screwdriver in not the point side there. We did that so the jars would remain secure even with the screws sticking out. Then I put the jars in the hose clamps, tightened the hose clamps and bam! Well not quite first my dad screwed the eye hooks into the top of the wood so I could hang it 

see the eye hooks? He put them in a little bit at an angle so it would sit against the wall nicely. 

Then my mom, knowing that the only nails I have are the little baby ones she just bought me last week, gave me these Hercules Hooks which are pretty cool and strong hence the name. All you do is push them into the wood and turn no hammer needed! They sell them at Target I think 

I got the image off google

and that's it! My boyfriend was impressed and then said "Your dad did most of the work didn't he?" He knows me too well :]

While I was at Home Depot with my dad I took advantage of the situation (aka his wallet) and bought some other stuff to add to my itty bitty no storage anywhere bathroom. I'll post those later! Home Depot, and the .99 cent store are my FAVORITE places!!!!!!! and I'm bored now... bye

Life's not going to stop while you figure out your next move

I don't think I have ever taken another photo with the Bruin Bear but this one is a keeper

For my dads father's day present I had my wondering boyfriend take pictures and edit them. My dad says this is the photo of the weekend and has proceeded to text it to everyone in our family. 

And as promised I'm writing the gist of Ann Meyer Dyrsdale's speech but I'll post a link of the UCLA graduation so you can check it out for yourself. (that is if anyone actually reads this if not then in 10 years when I come back to read these I can watch my graduation all over again.)

She began with how title 9 was passed the year she was suppose to attend college and was the first woman to receive a full ride athletic scholarship to none other than UCLA for basketball. Her lists of accomplishments continue to this day and you can hear it in the actually speeches should you need something to procrastinate with.

She says one thing that has helped her become so successful is stepping out of her comfort zone "I encourage you to take risks and go after your dreams. Life's not going to stop while you figure out your next move. Stay ahead of the game and just go for it. Don't worry about failure. You've just accomplished a major goal and now you'll slow down? Wait for someone to offer you your dream job? That's not reality for most of you. The key to success is finding your passion, working hard, taking risks that others are to scared to take and have faith that it will payoff. It doesn't come without fear and struggles. Even though you are simply trying to follow your dreams others might try to tear you down, but as John Wooden says fear of failure is the greatest failure of all. Have the courage to stand outside your comfort zone. Life appears easy and simple to some people. Life just seems good to those people who breeze through life because they are doing what they love, working hard, taking chances making sacrifices and willing to fail in order to succeed. It's not always going to workout but passion to succeed will never fail you. There are times you be defeated..." Mrs. Drysdale gives an example of the American people persevering like after the Boston bombing the tornadoes in Oklahoma and fires in Denver. She highlights how we overcome with the help from family and friends and in some cases perfect strangers. She tells us to look around Pauly Pavilion at all the family and friends the people who supported us, maybe paid for school or fed us but they got us through college somehow and we wouldn't have been here without their help. 

She continues "Show appreciation to your team" and quotes John Wooden one last time "It's amazing what can get accomplished when nobody cares who gets the credit."

Check out the whole thing if you're bored, I believe her speech is around 1:10:00

UCLA Graduation

Upon Graduation

Now I realize that I actually graduated 6 months ago but to appease my fabulous father I decided to walk at the commencement ceremony as his Father's Day gift. I know I'm such a generous daughter. Nevertheless I can tell he was pretty proud and that whole shabang kind of made me graduating real to him I suppose. I think I probably would have regretted not walking so I'm glad I finally decided to.  Reasons why I was debating against walking? Well for starters I was suppose to be living in Las Vegas working at the hottest night club or day club however I failed to realize that to Vegas standards I'm obese and lack the necessary qualifications i.e. giant fake boobs. Needless to say I didn't get hired, and if you promise not to tell my best friend who I was going to move with I'll let you in on a secret...I didn't really try to get another job after my appearance awakening and rejection. I was very torn as to what to do. This silly boy who I had liked then didn't like etc (you know the age old story I don't need to repeat it) had decided he did like me but moving to Vegas was kind of a deal breaker. Not that he would stop liking me but we didn't want to do a long distance relationship especially if one of us would be partying and getting rowdy up in Vegas. FYI I'm more of the home body type despite what people may think and the title of this blog. I've grown up and put those days behind me? Sort of...Now I just do wild and crazy things with my boo thang by my side. In honesty he is probably the main instigator for my crazy behavior now.  But I digress back to reasons why I didn't want to walk. Reason 2 I felt a huge disconnect from the whole campus. Although I was in a sorority and love my beautiful campus I hadn't talked to my sisters or been to the campus in those 6 months. Going back felt strange like it wasn't my campus anymore. Who would I walk with and sit by. And while going through the whole process I did feel this way. I found my sisters to take pictures with and walk with and laugh at all the silly people with (by silly I mean a. funny looking or b. their stupidity) but I still felt out of the loop.

But nevertheless I'm glad I walked I think had I not it would have been just one more thing to add to the list of things I missed out on in college. I'll be posting Ann Meyer Drysdale's speech soon, because it was very inspirational to me so stay tuned for that!

My Memorial Day Weekend (less exciting than you may think)

All weekend has been a struggle. I'm sick and I don't know whats wrong, Josh just got his wisdom teeth and turning his pain into anger which is directed at me. Luckily every time we fought we made up within the hour. We still fight about the same things but at least the fights are getting shorter.

Instead of spending the whole weekend raging in Vegas with my sorawrity sisters and famous DJ's I spent it on a "tour" van with 6 boys and a little puppy named 'aye' like when you yell aye get over here or 'A' the letter in the alphabet. I will begin with A because she is my favorite part about Saturday. She is a half maltese  and half teacup poodle. Just like my puppy twinky but smaller!! She would walk from the front of the van all the way four rows back to the end of the van. The boys in the van include Christian the singer of JMSN (pronounced Jameson) Adam the tour manager Demigod the guitarist (I believe his name was John) Chris the drummer, There were two Tims neither played for the group, C-Bass and Josh the last three being the boys I live with...kinda live with?

So we went to the show he sang R&B and it was great. I fell asleep in the van while waiting for everyone to go. I fell asleep in the van on the way home. More boys said I was a great girl friend (as if we ever questioned that) and that was that. Sunday I went home crafted some awesome things for my boo, continuing my awesomeness and Monday I saw my brother Kevin he made fun of me for living with a 'rock star' (he said this condescendingly) Went back to Hollywood, went to a BBQ at the Rubix apartments, Saw Terrell Owens. Apparently Josh's Aunt used to hook with him...along with 7 other girls and he did her dirty, just like the rest. Boys can suck.


I always feel like I'm part of this dichotomy two forces fighting against each other though. Before I was in this world struggling to divine where I was between the rich and poor. I didn't know where I lied and thats still a problem but now its taken on a new face, the struggling artist and the professional world. Having graduated and realized I spent maybe 1% of my days in college being creative I've joined to work force. Doing a job I believe is short term and will only last a year. I want to support my relationship with Josh because I don't think we'll thrive if we continue to live on the floor of an apartment with 2-5 other people (depending on the night). I want us to have our own place where we can be us an where we can create. Its too hard for either of us to be creative when there isn't even a place to sit or have a minute alone. But part of me is afraid this will become my life. I don't want this life and I try to pretend its not real and that I'm just playing dress up every day as I go into my big law firm with crazy security and nearly impossible to get into. I just don't want it to be forever. This job is the exact opposite of creative. They tell me what to wear what color my hair should be, I have to wear makeup and had to take out my nose ring. It's stiffling but at the same time I have all this time to write. I don't like writing when the atmosphere isn't perfect but beggars can't be choosers right?

So maybe this time next year I'll have written my first novel, be applying to graduate schools and Josh will start touring. That's my goal, my hope and dream for next year. I don't need it to be a fairy tale ending I just need it to start.