I never thought that just 6 short months after graduation I would be working at a law firm, buying a new car and looking for apartments with my boyfriend. Although it often feels like I'm stressing over everything I cannot contain my true happiness. I count my lucky stars every night before I lay my head down. I don't know how long all my happiness will last and I am constantly being challenged with life's little obstacles but I never forget how far I've come from the "sad sober girl" in the inland empire.
My latest struggles include trying to get an apartment with my other half. Apparently people think just because I'm 21 I must have horrible credit when in reality I have very good credit. But my baby face has deterred leasing offices from letting me rent an apartment from them. I'm sure the fact that two little kids playing house has crossed their minds when they see Josh and I applying but that just goes to show you how you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
Its funny because I've never considered myself a responsible kid, let alone a responsible adult but that is the persona I believe I'm beginning to take on. My co-workers are constantly telling me how mature I am, how I'm the most responsible and most normal receptionist they have ever had. I laugh because I go home and watch disney channel and read Harry Potter books. I'm hardly a grown up and honestly I don't want to be, but still I think I deserve at a least a chance at getting my dream apartment or at least close to it?
My mom was telling me how a hundred years ago when her and my father were dating no one would rent to them either...because they weren't married. I told Josh this and concluded when we go to Vegas for our birthdays we should just get married. Ya know get the marriage license so we can get an apartment but not tell anyone. The irony in that is hilarious to me. Such a childish way to go about trying to be considered grown up to outsiders. I'm sure we wont end up doing this (unless we are really drunk) I kid I kid!!!!
I'm just tired and stressed out from looking for apartments and not getting anywhere. I know I'm young and I'm too young to be making how much I do probably but I'm not complaining. I say I'm blessed and everything happens for a reason. I just wanted a place where Josh could have his own space to work on music. I guess we are already a lot farther than most couples our age and we should be thankful for that, is it too much to ask for the perfect apartment too? I don't think I'm being greedy...oh my first world problems, how boring they really are. I was thinking about the receptionist before me. She was 21 too but so depressed all the time. I felt like I could sympathize for her having gone through that every day once I realized I was really graduating until the day Fern told me I got the job. Why is being 21 such a struggle right now? We all should be having fun going out and drinking every day with our friends. We shouldn't be worried about careers, we certainly shouldn't be dealing with miscarriages and boys who treat us like shit. I wish I could tell her to do what she loves. To find what she loves, it doesn't matter if you are good at it just keep doing it until you are the best. I should take my own advice.
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