All these choices

I complain about girls who seek male attention to validate themselves, but am I do the same thing? Surprisingly a lot of people are interested in but I was holding out for him, hoping he'd call me again...and he did. I guess all those girls that told me he'd call just ignore him and he'll come back. I was surprised and way to eager when he called. I still am and now he is back to ignoring me. I feel shitty about it but not even 2 minutes ago I was thinking how lucky I am. I actually feel hopeful about my future. I know the only thing I love and will be happy doing is writing, but when I talked some fellow adpi's about my future everything seemed to work out. I'll go learn some entertainment law stuff, I'll move to Vegas and have my last hoorah get some crazy experience and then climb my way up the legal entertainment industry? perfect right? But these ladies didn't even have a boyfriend. 33 years old and no relationship, no kids...Sylvia Plath's Fig Tree is looking further and further away. Maybe being a woman we don't have all these choices that we like to make ourselves believe are there. The "working" moms that came sold jewelry and makeup now. They gave up their powerful CEO and Vice President positions to be with their children, which i can fully understand. I want lots of babies. But do I have to give up my career too. I want to go to the baseball games, be the girl scout leader, the in class mom or whatever. Lets face it you can't work a 9-5 job and do those things. I want to raise my kids, I wouldn't want some college student or spanish speaking nanny to raise them. But I'm not willing to give up my dream on writing and that requires money and talent. I'm hopeful about my writing maturing, and I know eventually it will happen for me as long as I keep at it, but where do the rest of the figs fit on the tree. Do i too only pick one fig? Plath had her writing career and her children and ended up committing suicide. I think I 'll with my fantasy that the fig tree represents all the possibilities of my choices and I don't have to choose only one, even if it isn't reality.