Better Than Love

So this is my first post that I'm making an effort to have people read which couldn't be a more appropriate time since the gluten free slut strikes again! Last night she did at least. Long story short I ruined a relationship that was probably the most hopeful I've had in a while. But as my G Lil (grand little) says he wasn't worth my time and treated me like shit...i don't agree with that but she claims to know more than me lol. anyways here I am questioning my actions, wondering what is wrong with me, but I know the reason I did it was because he would never want to be with after that. I didn't want to keep getting hurt so thats why, but I ended up hurting myself more in the end. She tells me I dont need to change and she says the reason my relationships don't work out is because my boy-picker is broken. I wish that was it but I'm really beginning to think there is something wrong with me not them. But then I realize I've been fucked over and my heart is barely together and I'm hesitant with good cause. I'm glad I'm over all that but its still apart of who I am. Writers never really had happy lives. Even J.K. Rowling had a really messed up and sad life thats why the last few books were really dark. So maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve, and maybe i trust people too easily and i get hurt and I love with everything i have and thats why it hurts so bad right now. But i'm not going to apologize for trying to move on, even if it was premature. I have flaws, and I make mistakes and this is the way I am. I drink two drinks and black out. Everything about me is fucked up but I thinks thats why I'm a good writer, because no matter what happens to me I can write about the raw feeling I have happiness, sadness, love, hate anything. If you can't accept that then you can go. I'm doing the best that I can. Can I promise you things will be perfect and easy no. But this is what you get a completely neurotic girl, obsessed, paranoid, doubtful but full of love and ready and willing to share it with you. But if thats not what you want then you need to be honest with me and yourself.

Now that we have covered the slut part lets move onto the gluten. I of course ate a cookie believing it to be GFree...it was not. I haven't eaten all day, but that could partly be because of this gaping hole i feel in my chest which usually happens at times like these. I've been bad all around with my diet, just eating whatever I feel like. I have a splitting headache the thought of food makes me want to barf and I'm emotionally unstable...The fact that flour and wheat can make me feel all this is unnerving. On a more positive note McD's french fries haven't made me sick yet and I'm in love with these Pure bars. They are so fruity and delicious. What would I do with out my fabulous mother to make these amazing new discoveries. And of course I live off of Think Thin bars still, thank you Alexis Vaatate for turning me on to that, best tattoo sesh ever!

Ok I'm going to post my short story later, give me feedback, be gentle though its my first one I'm showing to the world.